1 One must always give multiple options when asked to take someone’s picture. If I ask you to take a picture, it is implied that you will hold your finger down on that shutter until we have at least one in which I do not resemble a purple-haired gremlin.
2 One must never comment on a typo or autocorrect in someone else’s text. We all make mistakes and we both know it’s very apparent I meant “doing”, not “dong”. There’s really no need to mock my slip of the thumb.
3 One may only screen at a table if it is relevant to the conversation, or if one is trying to make a point.
4 One must always tag a friend in Instagram photos, and one must also always remember to photo credit the selfless camera person who has sacrificed their place in the group shot for the greater good.
5 One must remove any unattractive photos from social media upon request.
6 One must always be allowed to refuse to watch a YouTube video, no matter how funny it is. I don’t care how hilarious the video of a man dressed as a panda hanging out with real pandas is, I do not want to watch it over your shoulder while you stare at me making sure I laugh.
7 One must always give out one’s wi-fi password freely and generously, even though guests asking for the wi-fi password is one of life’s great, mysterious annoyances.
8 One shall not comment on the fact that you know someone has been ignoring your texts, even though WhatsApp and Facebook allow you to know when a user was last online. Always avoid the “I know you’re online and just ignoring me” text and let’s all keep up the pretence together.
9 One must never admit to online-stalking a new acquaintance, even if you are already deeply familiar with every photo from their Facebook album Ibiza 2014.
10 Finally, and most important, one must never, ever start casually scrolling through a camera roll when looking at a picture on a phone, unless one wants to see a picture of a rash on a bottom that one was most definitely not expecting.
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